I feel itchy telling you this.
A bit shaky.
Obviously consumed with guilt and mortification.
Who to blame?
Lack of sleep? Too much caffeine? Julian for his refusal to get in the swimming pool? My Dad and his penchant for the same word when mad?
No I think it’s because I am human.
As Mothers (and Father’s), we forget that we are not perfect.
We keep up our standards and if we can’t we hide these dirty secrets with shame.
If you keep these secrets, if you hold on to them, they fester and make you feel less.
So I thought I’d admit it, have a laugh about it, double the hugs for Julian. I’ll take any criticism you want to give me so I can help those that are hiding their own less-than-perfect motherhood secrets.
I’m trying to be authentic, true to who I am and I come with faults. I don’t swear much but if I am mad….it’s hard to keep it in.
I said something along the lines of, “Get the fffff in the pool.” My tricks weren’t working and I got really, really mad. Instant regret. Hopefully no one else heard me. Hopefully Julian didn’t register the naughty word. I just changed tactic and moved on.
Moved on with my day and with my week.
Basked in the smile Julian gave me yesterday when I picked him up, as he shouted to the teacher proudly, “That’s my Mum!”
And I am.
I’m his Mum, I’m not perfect, and I love him with my whole heart.
Thanks so much for this post! Sometimes – not very often but sometimes – I yell at my toddler and feel awful afterwards. I’ve even wondered if I need to get counselling for anger management! But really it’s just a normal part of parenting, isn’t it? Sometimes our little kids push our buttons and it’s really hard not to react in such a normal human way.
I think most people’s shame in this kind of behaviour makes it taboo to talk about or mention – by doing this it has isolated us a bit, we think we are the only one losing it!
You won’t hear any criticism from moi!
thats why I love ya!
Fisherman’s daughter here – that word slips out too frequently out of my mouth! xx
Perfectly normal, no need to feel ashamed. I think it is only the parents that use it constantly in casual conversation that need to worry. The occasional swear dropped under stress….everyone does that. And if they say they don’t *whispers* they’re lying 😉
Thank you x
Dad says the word is “Fork” and therefore not naughty , as in “for forks sake” or “what the fork” mmmm I must say it doesn’t sound like that to me haha xxx
Yeah didn’t sound like that to me either!!!
This made me laugh so hard, Nicola. Sorry! 🙂 my dad was always cursing when he was mad and my mom was always on him about it and shaking her head. I survived. I just hope i have a better filter with my future kids than I do with my dog when she’s bad!!
Yes I am finding it all very amusing now but it’s scary admitting stuff like this !!! You’ll be an awesome Mum xx
I am SO surprised that my toddler has NOT repeated one of my more colourful adjectives (yet) Really need to clean up my mouth 😉
We have had a few (hilarious) recitations.
That’s right darling, I said bucket. x
OMG! I dropped the F-Bomb this morning. – I just couldn’t take the whinging one moment longer – I felt so bad after, but hopefully they didn’t notice 🙂
I love it how we are all the same! Thank God its not just me!
Well so far I must have done a good job at hiding my momentary anger and rage.
Trust me when I am pushed too far or strung out I can hurl some superlatives like the best wharfie – maybe lots under my breath also when my son is around 😉
However the other day my neighbour said she needed to find a new name for me as my name is like her ex husbands that she detests. So she was trying to find alternatives for my name.
In the end I suggested she just call him a!@#hole and then I could keep my name – she was speechless and said she couldn’t believe I actually swore!
She was astounded that it came out of my mouth LOL
I am not sure who is actually more shocked now – me or her as I had no idea I gave the so proper and perfect impression so well.
… and she must have heard me curse as she lives right next door!
haha! We always asssume that peopel are watching our every move and are quite consumed with what people think of us aren’t we. Funny when the reality is that they are too busy either doing their own thing or caring what you think about them!