Here is my guess to how a man’s mind works on Father’s Day:
Get up: There’s my children, my wife – love those guys. Is there NBA on?
Lunchtime: Beer O’clock! Yes. Footy Time.
6pm: I’m hungry. Excellent my wife is in the kitchen cooking. Time for another beer.
Bedtime for the children : Time to wrestle them and really rile them up!
Midnight: Best day ever. No one nagged me and the wife kept the children at bay all day. Why isn’t everyday like this?
Interspersed with thoughts about sex, work and the scores of the games they are not watching.
Children are fetched by my hubby. Presents are given (and approved of), I even got a card! Hubby +5
Hubby jumps straight in the shower.
I go downstairs and give Leo his milk. -1
I get my own cup of tea. – 2
I get the kids dressed whilst hubby on computer. -2
We head out to breakfast, have a lovely time (I got the children’s breaky -1, he hung out with the kids in the playground +1)
Head home and stop at Sophia’s grave. Hubby’s suggestion +3
I actually, truly had a great time getting things done in the house. As did he. The kids were having a pretty good time and were well-behaved.
Hubby asks if I’d like to go out for lunch or dinner. I say no. +2
We make lunch together (sort of – I make him fry the veal) whilst I heat up the soup and make the salad.
We head out for a walk and so Julian can ride his bike. There is a slight bit of tension over him doing dishes or leaving that moment as I had to go to Yoga and wouldn’t have time if he did. -1
Lovely walk. Race off to Yoga. Think about dinner. There is a chance that what we have left in the fridge could make up a shepherds pie. Yep I like that thought better than going to the shops.
Yoga was great.
Get home. Start racing around making dinner as its late and Leo’s screaming for it. He sits in his high chair winging at me for 45 mins whilst my hubby is nowhere to be found (read outside picking up dog poo, putting my car away, removing pool equipment from our backyard). -2
I ask him repeatedly to remove Leo or help with dinner. “Yep, be there shortly.” -5 when I find him in the garage chatting to the neighbour.
Cue hormone-induced crying fit. Defensiveness from hubby.
Over dinner I say, “I need sorry and a hug – not your defence strategy.”
We make up and all is well in the world.
What I find fascinating about this is putting myself in his shoes…..
Got wife’s present – Husband of the year.
Kids out of bed. Wife gets a second of peace in bed. Husband of the year.
Breakfast. I’m finally fed – now I’ll take the kids off my wife. Husband of the year.
Get home – house stuff to do. I’ll finally put those tints on her car window. Look over here wife. Husband of the frickin year!
Here I am cleaning the pool wifey – see me? Husband of the year!
And here’s me again cleaning up the dog’s mess. Husband of the year!
I’ll move your car into the garage for you babe. Look there’s our neighbour. “Hi neighbour, just about to claim my Husband of the year title today.”
Head’s back into the house (wife tornado and flurry of tears.)
I hope you all had an amazing Mother’s Day and enjoyed your day, your men and your munchkins xx
Favorite post yet! Sounds very similar to my Mother’s Day….thanks for laugh and to know I’m not alone 🙂
Ha! I spoke to two girlfriends before I wrote this and their day was just the same! There is a lot of us out there!
Mine was swaggering about like husband of the year yesterday.Until Nana & Pop (his parents) mentioned that the kids should be helping prepare brunch instead of mumracing about because it was mother’s day. At which point husband got all uppity.
They don’t like being taken out of their own confident mindset do they!
I hope it’s ok that I found this incredibly amusing – such great insight into gender differences!
When I spoke to my husband he read it and was laughing out loud. I was crying with laughter because he found it amusing because there is truth in it….then he said, “You love me right? You love the flowers? Uh, cause I actually had a beer with the neighbour!!”
Yes, VERY interesting how our brains work so differently!
Men are from Mars – Women from Venus…
Isn’t amazing how differently we think?
At least when you glaze over it (so humourously I might add) you can understand their warped way of thinking LOL
Let’s just hope we can help our sons understand what women really want!
they are wired differently. Our sons have no chance 🙂
Oh how funny – loved this post!