I am about to crown myself the Queen of making myself happy.
I’m pretty good at it.
But some days you wake up and the world crumbles around you.
Because of a little thing called enough.
Today the house wasn’t clean enough.
Today I went to the beach but the dogs still weren’t exercised enough.
I spent time with my littlest but he didn’t have enough fun.
I definitely didn’t have enough coffee.
I had a green juice, a smoothie, poached eggs but I let some gluten creep in. I wasn’t healthy enough.
I didn’t have enough energy to make dinner.
I meditated – but was it long enough?
Have I got enough presents yet for Christmas?
Is everyone around me happy enough?
Have I done enough?
Status updated enough?
Did I laugh enough? I certainly cried enough.
Did I kiss enough? I certainly shouted enough.
We are all so tough on ourselves and all it takes is the slightest dip in energy levels to break happy. To break content. To break satiated.
Do you ever feel this way?
I’m removing that bloody word from my vocabulary.
There will never be enough as enough has no set definition. It is a word that that has depths deeper than the ocean and just as devastating consequences when it turns on you.
So what do we do?
I’m going to go to bed, think about what I am grateful for and learn from this day.
Tomorrow I stat anew.