We Only Ever Get To Borrow Our Children

It’s still dark and I am waiting for the world to wake up.

Well when I say I, obviously I mean we, my kids got me up before it was light this morning.

Again.

But I love the time before dawn when the silence mixes with the promise and possibilities of a new day.

Where the coffee is tantalising and I just feel blessed that I don’t have to rush.

It’s my favourite time and in these moments I see more clearly than I do when the day comes to clutter my vision.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the strength of motherhood and about needing the understanding and maturity to let go of your children.

Mine are still very little so the thought is terrifying but it is true, we never really possess our children.

We just get to borrow them for a time and give them their wings.

It’s a job and a project but you can get so blissed out with love that you can let them overtake your life and when you do that’s when Motherhood chips away at you.

When letting them take little independent steps can paralyse you…because what will be left of you when they go?

Right now my little Julian promises he will never leave me. When we talk of him getting older and living in his own place he looks horrified. He believes that he will always live with us and always want to live with us but everything he does right now, from brushing his teeth on his own to going to school and making his own friends, is paving the way for him to be able to take an open road. To wherever he wants it to lead.

Knowing that Mum will have his back but not his hand.

But I will be ok. And so will you.

For ultimately growing and releasing beautiful children to the world is just one part of the amazing tapestry that is our lives.

Motherhood can help you find out what lies beyond because suddenly life (your life) gets smaller. Your me time is where the answers lie. Let the swell of love for your children give you buoyancy and the clarity that is needed to understand why you have been put here on this earth.

What creates the most joy for you?

Before we had children our possibilities were endless – creation of our lives was a blank canvas.

I think I was overwhelmed with these possibilites and looked to those who had taken paths before me and just got on theirs. When it didn’t work out I tried another, and another.

But no one elses path will take you to where you need to go.

I find that Motherhood has showed me the way.

By reducing the amount of time I had to focus on myself it suddenly became clear where I wanted to spend my time.

The moments I had to write became precious.

The various exercise classes I was doing boiled down to one – yoga – because I didn’t enjoy anything else as much.

 Reading – widely and without boundaries – became a serious hobby

Travelling with limited time urges you to pick only the best possible places you can imagine and I find that I am turning more to adventurous holidays because it is missing in my day to day life. 

Meditation became essential because it makes me calm, it makes me think clearly and it re-centres me if I lose my balance. 

I hope you have begun to discover what your passions are and have taken steps to make your own path – I truly believe that is the only way our children are going to be able to have the courage and strength it takes to forge their own way in the world. With their lights on high beam.