The School of Life

When you step back and look at your life what do you see?

The usual?

The big picture – your career, your family, where you’ve travelled, things you’ve accumulated, love you’ve given, love you have been given?

I often think about this for a feel good burst of happiness. Wow. Amazing. Heart warming. Exciting.

But day to day…

If you step back and look at your life what do you see?

Is it full? Are you laughing? Loving? Smiling? Playing? Resting? Actually having a bit of fun?

It is so easy to get caught up in other’s needs…even if you know better. Even if you’ve adjusted your life to be more ….you.

I find kids…with their changing needs and amounts of attention…disruptive to my own harmony.

Sometimes I feel righteous, throwing off my needs to give my baby the best pregnancy, running around my oldest to give him the best experiences and ensuring his friendships grow and I find that with a toddler it’s hard to write, it’s hard to get to a yoga class and it’s all too easy to stay in at night and get to bed by 9pm.

And stepping back, looking at my life with a clearer eye (now that my baby is five weeks) I can see that I’ve been missing that zest for life, the laugh till you cry opportunities and  the FUN.

Last week I went to a party…bringing Elijah…and I danced, and laughed and felt free.

Yesterday I (got off my butt) and actually organised something – reached out to a girlfriend and went for a drink on a beautiful sunshine-y afternoon.

Today I stopped thinking about getting a personal trainer to help me get back to yoga, running and exercise and started actually putting the idea into motion.

Today I wrote something.

And I sit here and remember a line from a quote that my girlfriend sent me

“Logic doesn’t produce magic.”

So I urge you to stop being cautious, sensible and over-thinking things.

Just live, laugh and have fun. 

But remember not to judge yourself for being who you need to be in the moment.