I tried to put my job into words after Julian called out from the toilet today, “Mum, I did more poos and…I missed.” Brilliant.
Super Star Carer Needed
Do you mind cleaning bums? Love vomit? What about snot…the especially green stuff? Well I have the opportunity for you.
This job comes with….no pay! As such you will never be tied to a desk again! However, you may be tied to your house (if you can afford one) as one of them will always need a sleep/be grumpy/need an organic (preferably gourmet) meal at extremely regular intervals.
As the primary carer they will love you! So much so that you may be the ONLY person who can attend to their needs. If they want a drink – they look to you. Want to get dressed? You. Need to go to the toilet? You!
Even if you are doing something.
Even if you have been with them all day and there is a new person in the house. The one you believed would be a co-carer. The care-ees have other ideas.
Ideally you will be both a night owl and a morning person! It is not exactly a 24 hour position…you do get some time off! On occasion. When all stars align.
But there is nightshift…and at all other times you will be on-call, this can NEVER be switched off.
You will be rewarded though…I mean just look at them. Little angels filled with love. You will revel in their gorgeousness…when they are sleeping.
If they ever do that.