I wrote yesterday’s blog and it hit home with a few people, they identified, they sympathized.

But…we all know, and yesterday it went unsaid, that we wouldn’t change a thing.

I love motherhood. I am the happiest i have ever been. The soft smell of my babies head, the cheeky-grin from my toddler, the decision-making, the blame, the responsibility – i take it all in and smile.

They light up my day, my week, my life.

To everyone that has kids, i know, they feel the same.

As teenagers we used to laugh that our mothers had nothing better to do than talk about us and our shortcomings/attributes.

As mothers we know that its not that simple. Our children are entwined into our being and you can’t separate that. Their hurts, their triumphs are ours too.

When I lost Sophia, everyone who was a Mum, lost something too. Losing a little of the belief that it would all be okay. It brought home  to them that nightmares do come true.

But at the same time, a child who was not born with breath, brought more love to me than I have ever known. My friends and family shed tears for her, for me and for our family and helped heal my pain.

For every wink we don’t sleep and each day that flies by, filled with fights, laughter and life, we grow as mothers.  We get stronger, more compentent and more able to deal with what’s ahead of us.

As with labour, we don’t remember the pain, only the joy.

The joy is what we all take away from this journey.


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