It’s not easy to be a Mother. We are in an era of knowledge overload and everyone from your neighbour to a stranger at the shops has an opinion on what you are doing.
Discipline techniques, co-sleeping vs control crying, public breast-feeding or “discreet” feeding…people think that they have right of say over your choices, what you do with your children and what you do with your body.
That’s a lot of pressure, especially when you are fretting about doing the “right” thing for your children in the first place. It can be overwhelming and motherhood can be damn hard.
Sometimes it helps to remember this:
“The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed” Author Unknown
I posted this to get a laugh out of mothers on my Facebook page earlier in the week. It is amazing feeling when they are finally asleep and you can ask yourself what you need to be in balance, (wine, chocolate, copious amounts of mind-numbing TV and hours lying horizontally help me!).
But the quote is actually a really important point to remember.
Because when there is so much going on you can only think clearly on reflection.
When I tuck my children in at night, my heart swells and sometimes I get tears in my eyes.
Even if their behaviour has been terrible.
Even if I have been shouting all day and on the verge of breaking down.
At bedtime, they are so gorgeous, just walking, talking examples of joy.
After his story, my three year old and I lie in his bed and talk over what we did that day. We then reflect on what we are thankful for and what the best part was. It doesn’t matter what he says, it matters to me that at the end of the day he feels safe and happy.
My one year old and I have a different routine. We snuggle on the chair together and read lots of books. We then say goodnight to all the animals in his room and he goes to bed safe and happy.
When my husband takes them to bed, he always comes down full of stories about what was said, funny comments and lots of happy moments. This is the time where we share with each other the love of our children through stories about their days, cute things that they did and get to reflect on how proud we are as parents.
What we don’t share, but I feel at night and when I am not with them, are moments that are special to just me.
The smell of my baby’s hair
The way his babble touches my heart
The softness of his skin
The wetness of his mouth as he kisses my cheek
The touch of my three-year old’s hand on mine
How amazing I think his constant questioning and inquisitiveness is
His open and constant declarations of “I love you”
The happiness and pride in his eyes when I pick him up from kindy
These moments are so precious and so amazing that I couldn’t care less about what people think of my choices. I couldn’t care less about what I am giving up or what I couldn’t get done today.
My babies are perfect.
I am not a perfect mother, but on reflection, my experience of motherhood is perfection.
(Photos by Bloom Pixels)
Yeah, I get that tearful nostalgic feeling when Potamus is asleep or almost asleep, too. The moments before, though, are sometimes a struggle. We have a routine, but it’s not as restful as this…probably because I’m preoccupied with trying to get out of the room to read/drink wine/watch TV.
Great post, i really enjoy reading them all. I have a 4 and 6 year old and as they are getting older bedtime is getting later so “me” time of a night is getting less and less. I have to keep reminding myself when I just cant be bothered with 1 more story that this time is so short and soon they wont want me reading them stories. I love the saying (not sure where I read it) “Days are slow but years are fast”, this is so very true.
The biggest downside of children is they wake up!
So beautiful. The blog, this page, the photos. Everything. What a wonderful mother x
Absolute perfection. All of it, the writing, the words, the journey. Thanks Nicola x
so sweet thanks x
Just beautifully the whole blog and how you have worded it. Makes me think the same as you Nicola. That I to am blessed as hard as it is sometimes.
We are blessed. These years are the total human experience. Every emotion felt !
A beautiful post. Sometimes I want to scream from the ‘friendly advice!’ Addison asleep is so beautiful she breaks my heart! Lovely blog, I’m glad I found you. xx
Thanks for your gorgeous comments Mez x
so gorgeous hon, you take all my thoughts I had all those years ago with you and steve and put them into words, what a great gift sweetie xx
ooooh so sweet x
Thats why I put my children to sleep. One book and a chat and then a cuddle and within 5 minutes they are asleep. that time is too special to give up.
Annaleis – Blogs and PR Team Member
It is ins’t it. Such a gorgeous bonding moment.
It is amazing that we have the inherent capacity to love them sooo much, even when they drive us crazy! I love the bedtime routine as well (as long as they are happy to go to bed), it really is so important to reflect on how amazing and perfect they are! Beautiful post x Karen
thanks so much for your beautiful comment.
That last line is just beautiful. xx