I believe Motherhood is one of the most amazing times in our lives.
Last night watching my sons pile on top of my husband in hysterical laughter, getting tickled and be in the moment was one of my life’s great joys.
Sitting on the sidelines and watching joy in action made me joyful because it filled my heart with love.
I believe that Motherhood is not hard work, what Motherhood is, is beautifully imperfect and once we realise that, once we let go of the control that we think we have, we can surrender to this beautiful imperfection.
The kind of imperfection that causes your beautiful, imperfect, but inherently worthy, two year old to freak out over a toy, to lay himself on the floor and kick his little legs to get food. Your three year old toilet trainer to pee on a chair at a restaurant (fabric) or Gymbus foam pit.Your six year old to become so highly dramatic about things that he would prefer you to make a mouse costume so he can be like everyone else instead of doing the sensible thing and letting you buy him one. Because it won’t turn out well.
But these are the moments you will remember and unbelievably think back on with love.
I think that hard work is an indication that it is the wrong direction for whatever your doing.
I think if you look at Motherhood deeply enough, even at the “hard” bits, you will find the love and the joy in it.
The school runs, the lunches, the early mornings might not be fun for you but they are your dedication to the ones you love. Your version of honouring their little beings with food to nourish their bodies and education to nourish their minds.
It obviously also helps to have some space from honouring your loved ones and getting that very welcome six hour break before doing it all over again.
I believe that life is what you make it. My life is full. It’s filled with love, family, friends, chaos, dogs, kids, laughter, inspiration and stillness.
Has every dream I’ve ever had come true? Maybe not but I’m so grateful for everything that I have. From my eyesight to my toe nails to my ability to write this blog post and tell you what is in my heart.
What is the key to making the life you want?
Knowing yourself. Knowing what fills your cup. Then taking action.
The fruits of that action? Meh. Whatever.
You have to enjoy what you do everyday. Life is not the destination, it’s the journey.
I’m thinking of taking a gymnastics class, not to follow a dream of becoming a (very old) world class gymnast, but to tumble and flip and cartwheel like I used to love when I was a kid. To laugh and fail and have fun.
Yes you can put laugh and fail and fun in the same sentence but only if you remove two things. Shame and perfectionism.
The who-caresness of who I am (see how I don’t care that that’s not even a word), lets me walk through the world more unguarded than some.
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t even have to be a perfect Mother.
Your kids give you unconditional love. They let you yell, scream and be crazy and love you anyway.
The key to letting go of your perfectionism streak? Become happier with who you are. When you are being the best version of yourself, you don’t need your actions or gorgeous children to be your mouthpiece. Then that drops the pressure on your children.
You see?
If you don’t need to be the perfect Mum (thank god) then you can stop expecting them to be the perfect children (yay).
I believe that Mothers shouldn’t let themselves become so depleted that the only reactions are yelling or crying (yes, I’ve been there and it sux), this means you :
Need more sleep (go to bed earlier and also lie down during the day – even just to meditate)
Need a meditation practice (if you are unsure please comment in the blogs and I will help you)
Need to honour yourself– I fit yoga and meditation in during my morning only because I get up early and my kids watch TV, I also know my kids won’t starve of love if I leave them with my husband or babysitter to get a massage, go out for dinner or on a much needed holiday.
I believe that Motherhood is one of the most amazing times of our life. I hope that one day, before it is too late and that time of our life is gone, that all Mother’s see this too.
I love your blogs I read every one of them 😊 I also have 3 little ones similar ages to yours. Can you please point me in the right direction to a meditation prqctice I could start with? I love yoga but I’d like to fit more meditation into my days. Thankyou heaps you are doing an amazing job! Keep on writing your inspiring blogs xx
That really really means so much to me. Thank you Alison!! My best tip for meditation is the next time Oprah and Deepak do their 21 day meditation challenge – sign up. https://chopracentermeditation.com/ Three weeks doing anything helps make the habit. The meditations are about twenty minutes and free the first time they run them. Oprah and Deepak share some wisdom and then encourage you to sit and repeat the mantra they give you for the next 10-15, letting you know when time is up. I have bought some so have a bit of a collection and play them at least once a day. I wake up in the morning and get whoevers woken me up (usually at 6) some food and put on the TV. Then i sit and meditate on my couch. My other kids come in sleepily and will interupt me for a cuddle or to ask for food but thats ok, thats life. Its the sitting, the practicing, the showing up for yourself everyday that counts. When my little one goes down for a nap at some point i will probably do a lie down meditation again the oprah and deepak one – because i need to rest!!! Sometimes I will do evening when hubby is home and i need some space. And i am doing a sleep better course now and they are encouraging a before bed one!! The point is not to judge yourself. There will be thoughts, lots of thoughts. Sometimes its like a download of thoughts. You will get carried away with them but the more you do it the better you get at it. Sometimes its that thought download that you totally need so the stillness just gives you space for clarity if that makes sense? Best thing is if your children see you do it then they are inclined to try. Studies show that children who practice meditation and mindfulness exercises are 63 per cent more optimistic, 25 per cent less depressed and anxious, are less aggressive, kinder to peers and have greater self-esteem! Hope that helps x
Thankyou so much for all of this! I have downloaded some meditation and trying to do a little each morning 😀 I agree, I love letting the kids get up and come in and watch me meditate it’s so amazing! Thanks again for all your beautiful writing it really inspires me each and everyday xx
Sounds like the boys were having a great rumble , as u said such joy to watch , simple pleasures that bring so much X