Just Be

Sometimes you are tested.

Sometimes cooped up in the house for five days straight is too much.

Kids rotating whose turn it is to be sick and up at all hours comforting and loving them.

Bleary-eyed you struggle to to sit still.

The dishes must be done.

The washing is piling up.

You swing between seeing this as an opportunity to get things done and wanting to throw your hands up and just dive under the blankets with the kids.

I got up this morning exhausted. We’re talking about a couple of hours broken sleep at best. Overnight it all deteriorated – 40 degree temperatures and my worry switch was turned on.

Yes I’m concerned about my kids when they are sick…but not worried.

So we get through the morning and I think – you know what? I’m curling my hair, I’m going to throw some mascara on and pretend I’m going out somewhere today.

Looking good can make you feel good.

But I never got that far.

I was constantly needed to coddle my little one. So I eventually gave up on the one-handed mascara application and just lay on the couch with him.

Which is when I noticed.

He was boiling again. He hadn’t let me go all morning and now he just wanted to sleep on me. Not a good sign for my constantly-active-even-when sick 21 month old.

I got an immediate appointment after insisting the receptionist speak to the Doctor and fit me in.  Crackles in the lungs.

I have one very sick little monkey. Who needs me.

 

I’m not super woman and I’ve never claimed to be. There is nothing urgently seeking my attention today besides my little one and I am so grateful for that space to breathe in my life.

It is so important as a Mother to just be sometimes.

To do that you need to: 

Not  over-schedule your life

Be flexible – not fixated on things that have to be done now

Go with the flow of life and see the signs that you need to slow it down a little now (you can always pick up the pace tomorrow) 

Know that things can be cancelled and re-scheduled and feel no guilt over this 

Eat healthy

I throw the eat healthy thing in there because I was telling myself a story as I drove Leo around from Doctors to x-ray to chemist (it was lunch time and I was starving). Firstly that I deserved a third expresso (!), secondly I couldn’t possibly fix a healthy lunch for me and the kids…..but…..I knew that I would feel better if I ignored this little story. So I got home, got my grater out and grated  zucchini, carrot, beetroot , avo and some goats cheese and threw it into the pasta leftovers. Then we had strawberry super smoothies and I got to drink a herbal tea before Leo woke up.

I feel awake, nourished and like I did something for myself today.

Now I am one-handed typing again and my bubba needs me:)

Enjoy the outside world.