As an avid blog-reader, webinar follower, podcast enthusiast I used to practically salivate over the opportunities that the younger generation have at getting to do things for themselves.
These beautiful morning routines, setting up their own internet business and working from home or the beach, going to yoga every morning, travelling to amazing places by themselves, going to spa retreats. Travelling to the farmers markets on a vintage bike without millions of children in tow…..
Totally. Green. With. Envy.
Am I right?
What us Mother’s would give to go back in time and take our butt to an exercise class, get work we enjoyed before we were tied down with a mortgage, start our day with beautiful rituals that nourished our body, minds and souls.
Where were our inspirational role models in our 20’s??
Anyway…enough of the complaining, reflecting, and wishing our lives away.
We can do all these things.
Without leaving our children.
Without leaving our lives.
How do I know?
Because after spending a few years wishing I could turn back time I decided to be pretty damn grateful about where I am now.
With my sexy husband. My trio of boys. My wonderful home. The holidays we get to go on. My family. My crazy social life. My deep friendships. The champagne I get to drink, the yoga classes I attend, the conversations I have….everything brings me deep joy but it’s hard to remember that when you are yearning for something else. When you are distracted by someone else’s instagram and not your own.
I wished I could meditate every morning.
One day I just stopped wishing and took action.
I mean sometimes my morning meditation looks like this……
But other times it is silent and beautiful. It doesn’t matter. Each day I get out of bed, make myself a coffee, pop the kids in the playroom with some food and hit the meditation cushion. Whether its 5am or 7:15 when I roll out of bed, the meditation gets done and so do the lunches. Somehow. You have to believe that it can happen and it will.
So I could do that….but I really wished I could start my day with some yoga too…because the rest of the day seemed to run away from me or my energy would wane…..so I started practicing at home with some cool music.
And you know what?
Whether I get up at 5am or 7:30 everything still gets done and you know what? When we are a couple of minutes late to school….the world doesn’t end. Funnily enough it’s usually the days I get up at 5am that we are the latest! I overstretch and get the house clean and think I have tonnes of time.
The morning routine sets me up for my day. I feel accomplished already. I feel centred. I feel taken care of.
I also leave the house showered, with make-up on, hair done. My three boys (mostly) looking somewhat respectable. We walk to school and the dogs get exercised.
We have started pocket money in our household and now my six year old unstacks the dishwasher, feeds the dogs and he and my four year old clean their rooms and are supposed to make their beds. They can also make their own breaky (quality bread with organic peanut butter), take and wash fruit from the fridge, brush their own teeth and be in charge of getting their hair done. I’m about to show them how to use the washing machine – wish me luck!
When we teach our kids these things then we are giving them independence, a chance to earn and respect money (my son definitely knows how much footy cards cost now and how hard he must work to pay for them!) and a bit of resilience. Their pocket money amount is determined by me and how many tasks they completed that week as some weeks they will refuse to do things and I have to pick up the slack. They are always regretting their actions on pocket money day!!
My two year old obviously is still very much in need of me to dress him, help him with his teeth and breaky but he is getting to a beautiful independent age and I need to take advantage of that to start setting my life up the way I want it to be.
The way I have been yearning it to be yet it felt out of reach.
I’ve started training as a yoga teacher so that my dream of having a fulfilling, inspirational career can be realised.
No more “have to’s” in my life.
I truly believe that what you focus on expands. So all those times I was focusing on others it all felt out of reach.
But now that I am focusing on me, on what I want…it’s all unfolding.
What about those beautiful trips that was envious of??
We leave for Europe in two weeks. The trip that we are doing we did with the same two couples 14 years ago and this time around we are doing it with our families, all 14 of us.
I think round 2 is going to be so much better. I think our appreciation for all that we have and the sheer magnitude of this undertaking will make us so grateful for every moment we have together.
If the children scream – well it’s a French restaurant they are screaming in – how lucky are we!
If my two year old has a sugar-based tantrum and is face-down on a disneyland floor … we are still in Disneyland!
If the Club Med really is the worst in the world – then we will still be in France, still be poolside and still have our children having fun in kids club!
And if high tea at the Ritz in Paris or my spa treatment in Provence is interrupted with a children-based question then there are much much worse places I could be interrupted in.
So Mother’s out there – what are you waiting for? Your life, the one you really, truly want, is waiting for you to go and get it.
Focus on you.
Prioritise what is important.
Live your dreams.