It’s about this time last week that I F-bombed my child.
Watching him happily swimming this week I had to wonder – who’s problem was it that he didn’t want to get into the pool?
From his point of view:
Ready for swimming – nope we gotta wait, Nanna’s not here yet.
For some reason Mum’s not bringing Leo. Nanna’s still not here.
Mum’s a little bit hypo about it. She’s freaking me out.
Ok Leo is now in the car. Nope we’ve stopped; there’s Nanna’s car. There goes Leo.
Now we are racing to swimming. She’s dragging me. That’s not cool. Not sure about this anymore. It’s kinda cold.
Nah Mum, it’s not happening today. Why are you screaming at me? I’m not feeling like it today. Why do I have to? You are freaking me out. Great now I’ve lost my DVD privileges. There goes the trip to Nannas. I still don’t want to get in though. Oh well.
Meanwhile I’ve given up on the $17 for the lesson. Plus the rest of the lessons. That’s $170 he’s cost me now. He’s obviously never swimming again so now he’s going to be the child that can’t swim. He’ll probably get teased.
“Get in the pool Julian!”
No he still won’t go. How do I make him bend to my will? His whole future is going down in flames….right here….right now.
People trip themselves up like this all the time.
How many times have you stressed over money? Obsessed about not having enough – feel physically sick? Only to have it turn out fine or at least find some kind of solution?
Ever given up your whole healthy eating regime because of a guilt-laden chocolate bar? You’ve tripped into the future and obviously failed, you’ve got no willpower and won’t be able to stick to it.
So what’s the solution?
Stay in the present.
It takes practice. It takes patience. It takes courage.
Last night I was watching the prelude videos to the Hay House Summit and Louise Hay mentioned that all problems can be solved by learning to love yourself. She says that in childhood we hear “NO.” “Stop”. “Don’t do That.” “That’s wrong.” so much that we end up growing up not knowing who we are.
But how do we not do this to our children Louise? What is the solution?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Are parents too busy future tripping that we are not worried about our children being themselves? Do we just want them to be on the path to good swimming, good manners, a prosperous future?
I haven’t got he answers for you but I will be tying to be more mindful. Today. Right now.
I really look forward to reading your posts, they make me laugh and make me think and always remind me to live in the present!!! I can relate with the swimming lessons. 5 years of hell on and off trying to get my first born to like swimming lessons, it was so stressful. Finally I was smart enough to give up trying (plus I ran out of money). She started Kindergarten last year, they did 2 weeks of intensive lessons, she had a ball, no pressure and guess what she learn the basics of swimming. All those years of stress for nothing! x
Thanks so much, that kind of advice really makes me feel better! He’s awesome in our pool he just gets freaked out at public pools.
It’s all about mindfulness, huh? So hard to remember sometimes!
maybe we need a bracelet that says PRESENT!!!!
I would love to know the answer to this too! xx
oooh here’s some info http://www.healyourlife.com/author-louise-l-hay/2010/10/wisdom/inspiration/let-your-children-grow
Sometimes I think my need for things to go smoothly, efficiently and most of all, quietly ( I am super noise sensitive) takes precedent over staying in he moment and allowing my kids to be spontaneous and themselves…but I just have to say there is no worse punishment than swimming lessons, and I mean for mothers, in my opinion. It’s 10.37pm and now you’ve got me thinking, lol x
Public pools are so gross.
Man, I’m practising to be present as much as possible. I really want it , but it’s tricky!
i never did swimming lessons (mostly because of funds & time) it took mr now 6 to be 4.5 yrs before he stoped strangling me in the pool, he now swims confidently and progressed well with some relaxed & fun home training in a friends pool, the older 2 kids learnt with in school swim lessons they all love water and the less stressed mum lol
That’s awesome. I think our stress causes their stress some days!!