Examining Failure

I hate to admit this.

It is literally killing me to write it.

I couldn’t give up coffee. Not for a week.

One day was all I could muster.

I won’t give you my excuses because I think I was wrong to commit to denying myself something in the first place. Its why diets don’t work. You want the things you can’t have. By denying yourself pleasure you are not being kind to yourself.

I like the “crowd out” theory I have been reading about.

So by giving your body more nourishing foods (and drinks) you allow less of the bad stuff in. That I will do. Once I am over my coffee binge (that’s what denying myself did for me) I will aim to drink less coffee and spend more time holding a cup of health (herbal tea, warm water and lemon, apple cider vinegar and water).

What is interesting though is how my internal voice reacted to my “failure.”

My instinct was to write, “I am a loser. I couldn’t do it.” Then my inner voice said, “You don’t have to tell.” (What am I? Six and have done something naughty?) Then I thought, “How embarrassing.”

This is when I knew this denying myself exercise was wrong. It was making me speak and think negative thoughts about myself.

Not very empowering.

If you think about any “failure” in life, the same thing can be applied. Some people stay in horrible or inconvenient jobs because of status or “what would people think?”.  Same with bad relationships.

You don’t realise that if you make yourself happy first then nothing else matters. People will be there cheering you on, no matter what course you take in life. No matter how many times you “fail” and pick yourself up.

The people who don’t? They won’t matter to you if you believe in yourself.

That’s where honesty comes in. Face up to what you want out of life and take it. But you need to be honest with yourself first and then you can be honest with those around you, without shame or embarrassment.

I like to think that you can use the “crowding out” theory to get rid of that negative voice inside. For every negative thing you tell yourself, give yourself five positive.

Starting today.