Ever Feel Like People Want To Change You?

Today’s Mantra: Be the change you want to see in the world

The beauty with getting older and getting a bit more life experience under our belts is self-acceptance.

For me, I find that it compounds every year… but only since I found myself living authentically. It’s hard to accept yourself if you are living your life to the expectations of other people.

It took the stillbirth of my beautiful baby girl Sophia for me to see that you need to say what you mean and mean what you say. What’s the point in pleasing others if you are stifled, unhappy and yes-saying?

I think what is hard for us to grasp as we grow from arrogant teenagers to self-conscious young adults is that despite what other people think of us we are not the main feature in their lives. Within seconds or minutes their thoughts will move on to another topic and you will be forgotten.

But yet we dwell. Re-shaping ourselves to fit a mould. Whether it’s parents expectations of following a certain career path, a boyfriend’s thoughts on how you should dress, strangers discussion about your breast-feeding techniques or societal expectations on children raising…consciously or un-consciously we change for other people, forgetting our own wants and needs.

 

 

Crazy. Especially when life is short. This fact highlighted to me when I was reading a book last night that referred to the conception of a 17 year old (present day) in 1995.  Um…did they get that wrong? I was 15 then…that wasn’t that many years ago? In 17 more I’ll be heading towards 50!

The consolation? When you accept yourself life gets better. When you make yourself happy life gets better. When you chase your dreams life gets better.

I think it’s important to know who you are. If you feel like you don’t there are many gorgeous, lovely and free self-development courses out there in internet world.

Even putting things down on paper, things like your values, your goals, your dreams can paint a clearer picture of who you are. Some answers may even surprise you.

For starters check out Amy Kessel’s Brilliance Guide (you need to sign up to her site) here or (and I haven’t worked through this one yet but it’s sitting in my inbox) Tara Mohr’s Ten Rules for brilliant women workbook here.

But don’t do this for me. I think you’re perfect just the way you are 🙂

 

 

4 Comments

  1. I’m also getting better at it as I get older but it’s not easy. I try to be myself, the unperfect version so my girls will see this and know it’s fine for them to be themselves too x

    1. so important for them to see warts and all. i read somewhere if they never see their parents fight then they never see them make up and it skews their version of what a relationship is. Guess this only applies to the little everyday fights though!

  2. I am new to your blog and so reading for the first time that you lost a child. I know it wasn’t what this blog was about, but I just wanted to say I’m so terribly sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like… Sending blessings to your beautiful Sophia, where ever she may be (no doubt close to you, her dad and her brothers), and sending blessings to your boys, who I know you appreciate in the most magnificent way.

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