Counting My Blessings

Something is not sitting right with me.

Adrenalin, coffee, anxiety – something is throwing me off.

I spent today careening around, not really achieving that much, yet going a mile a minute and on the verge of tears.

Last night was tough, there was a 9:30pm double awakening, then a boy in my bed, then a pee incident, the boy was then banished from our bed but snuck back in around 4am, then at 5:30am it was time to get up….at least according to one of my children.

But today:

My kids were angels.

The gorgeous ladies in my life got an earful (thank you).

My husband gave out his best hug.

But it’s nothing to do with outside and everything to do with what is inside me. 

I tried to roll with it.

I tried to lean in to the panic.

I tried to logically talk myself off the ledge.

I threw on some music.

I got my meditation on.

But my cake fell in on itself.

 

I read a really dark book that gave me the creeps and made me feel dark (Dark Places by Gillian Flynn – not the best for a day like today).

I couldn’t go to the gym as planned, take Jules to swimming or get all his presents for his birthday Friday because he was sick.

The day was off kilter.

But it ends well. 

The night has been peaceful. A new book has been downloaded (Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali) and this qu0te resonated with me…..

“Many Mother’s strive to meet the highest standards and expectations of their role only to feel guilty for failing to be the perfect Mother.” 

But this is the one I am going to say goodnight with…..

 

Tomorrow is another day.