The Number 1 Thing De-Cluttering Experts Forget To Tell You

The reason we have so many things is not just because we have kids and toys and other things but because we do not throw away as much as we should.

We have to deal with these items in a mature way. It is is logical that if you are not using these things, or if you have outgrown them, or if they no longer suit you or your lifestyle then we should be getting rid of them.

No one enjoys a cluttered space so when you are reading the articles, or the books, or friends are telling you about their de-cluttering efforts you feel inspired.

Then you go home, have a look at your mess or try to pick something up but you just couldn’t possibly let it leave your possession. You might need it. Your kids may want it someday. Someone might find out that something they bought you – you threw away.

Or…… you do a little bit and it feels like a lot. Until within weeks it all snowballs again. Then you feel like you are ALWAYS de-cluttering.

You know that there are serious road blocks in your de-cluttering but you can’t figure out what they are.

I mean why do you want to hold onto that handbag you never use?

  1. You feel guilty that you/ someone else spent money on it.
  2. It’s useful…but you don’t use it.
  3. You could get it fixed/cleaned up/might come into fashion again
  4. You have made it yours. Like a kid, when you go to give it away you sub-consciously think “No, mine!” even though you don’t really want it.
  5. It’s become part of your identity. Or it was part of your identity and who you were at the time.
  6. It’s a memory. You went here/were with that person then etc

It’s essentially a piece of leather/plastic/canvas that has no identity, feelings etc but you have projected onto it something it’s not. It’s no longer money. You will not get that money back if you don’t hold onto it. You will never revisit that time in your life again.

We need to understand that objects don’t change who we are and we will never feel “good enough” just by getting a something new. We all know how good it feels to wear something brand new right? Isn’t that joy? No. Joy is an ongoing feeling you feel about your life. New clothes are new for a minute and then they are not. They didn’t change you or the way you feel they just gave you a burst of feeling or euphoria which then leads to suffering when it is no longer new/ needs to be thrown out. We think it made us happy but it didn’t. It was a vehicle that may have given us more confidence or made us feel better than we did at the time. In fact, it can cause a lot more problems because we hold such an unrealistic projected image of it. We need to work on our self, not our clothes, otherwise we will always need to buy more clothes to get that feeling back.

We also think that if we buy something it’s going to make us a certain way. Like if you get a new couch and you imagine all your family snuggled on it, how good it will look in the house, how people will admire it, how it will allow you to feel luxurious and content. But then you get it and you are terrified of the kids spilling something on it. So much so that you become an absolute tyrant and you start projecting this “hitler” vibe instead of “cool lady with cool couch” vibe that you thought you were buying. We didn’t buy the couch we thought we were buying a feeling.

The couch hasn’t changed us. We changed us.

We need to stop projecting “Who We Are” onto objects.

We can’t throw things away because we become attached to them and make them “mine”.

We also buy way too many things and feel guilty about that too. We think that if we hold onto things it might stop us buying more things. But it never does. So we accumulate.

We essentially need to break away and break up with objects before we can move on.

We can’t let go of that part of ourselves. You see. It’s hard.

Is there something wrong with this?

Yes.

They are objects and not people. We are spending more time tinkering, storing, re-organising and thinking about our things than we are having experiences with those we love and enjoying the moment, in the present.

You will not lose those precious moments you had with your baby by getting rid of the baby things. What you will get is more time to spend with your toddler/big kid/ adolescent and they will appreciate that a hell of a lot more than you hanging onto their booties and spending hours re-organising things to keep it all.

When we get rid of things we start gaining perspective about the present moment. Be here now. Stop being in the past – yes those memories are beautiful and you can conjure them anytime you need – but the present is what is important.

By keeping these outdated things we are keeping ourselves outdated and not living fully in the present moment, embracing who we are now and who are family members are now.

Your things are not you and you are not losing any part of yourself by throwing these things out. You are not losing any part of your memory with precious people. 

So you can see why some people have serious addictions and hoard things. It’s a psychological minefield.

These things that were supposed to make us happy are making us miserable and over-whelmed.

So the problem I am finding with all the de-cluttering articles I am reading is that they are dealing with the consequences of the problem and not the problem. Then when we try and follow their easy steps to throwing things out and we feel like we are throwing out part of ourselves. We think we will be “less than” and “have less” if we throw things out.

We build up these grand fantasies of who we are and then we need all of our possessions to prove that this is us, this is who we are. When our possessions don’t live up to the reality and don’t make us who we thought they would, we are disappointed

I love this quote from a book I’ve just read, Yoga And The Quest For The True Self, “Oh my dear students, you build such big mansions of the self. But its fine, really. Because when you clean them out of all your many belongings, you’re going to find that they are just great big spaces in which God can live.”

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So we need to remember:

He who dies with the most toys does not win. 

No matter what the advertisers tell us this stuff will not change who we are – we are beautiful just as we are. 

By keeping this stuff we are avoiding the present moment. Reality as it is now. 

We need to work on the way we need to feel, not buy our way into it because it doesn’t work. 

So my 5 step process to de-cluttering is as follows: 

  1. Realise that you are keeping these things because of your obsession with “me” and mine” and drop it. Let it go. In yoga, the sanskrit word for this is Asmita or I-ness. Which is one of the Kleshas, or afflictions. These afflictions are what is causing us to be estranged from our True Self.  (The others are ignorance, attraction, aversion and clinging to fear of life and death) There is nothing wrong with the things themselves, it’s the attachment to things that is out of proportion. Things do not change who we are, we do.
  2. Imagine yourself as a toddler and you are trying to keep a toy everyone is telling you to share. You didn’t want it, in fact you haven’t played with it for years. You can see from the outside how irrational it is to keep something that you don’t want anymore.  Keep that feeling as you fill up the trash bags and pass on to charity.
  3. Remember that the reason you are here, cleaning out things and spending precious time on it, is because having too much stuff is making you suffer. We need to let go of our attachment to that feeling of suffering – leave the guilt behind and get rid of it. What if you only had things you loved in your house and the things you loved had prominence, instead of being shoved in to a cupboard you can barely close?
  4. Clinging, craving, greed these are feelings that could describe an inability to giving up your stuff. Then if you give it away you feel guilt, sorrow, panic, anxiety. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I try and focus on the people who may receive my things as I pass them on. I imagine their faces lighting up. I imagine that it brings them some joy, or comfort or relief that they have found what they are looking for. I try and focus on the good and being of service to others through giving.
  5. Go through each room and leave only things you love in the room. Bless yourself and your space and be grateful for what you can give others and how well you can treat yourself. Take these gifts immediately to the charity/ donation place and be done with it. Focus on the present now. Focus on your life as it is now.

 

 

 

 

Five Ways To Stay Zen Instead of Yelling

If you lose it occasionally, find yourself yelling at a loved one, the kids or strangers who have cut you off in traffic – that’s pretty normal.

But if you find yourself yelling daily, feeling totally exasperated and worked up on numerous occasions throughout the day, then there is a lot you can do about that.

That pent up, anxious, angry feeling – that stressed, can’t quite catch your breathe state is caused by many things, from a refusal to slow down, to grief, to feeling stuck in your own life.

There are many times that life can get on top of you but you don’t have to let it turn you into a person that you don’t recognize. You don’t have to be that person that everyone steps on eggshells around and you don’t have to be that Mama that is always yelling and achieving nothing.

Here are just some of the things that you can do:

Time-Out

Yep, you send your kids there, but you totally need it too if you are going to lose it. Sometimes I just have to excuse myself and head to my room. I meditate, I put on a guided meditation that I have as an app on my phone, and I just listen and sit. It lowers my heart rate and improves my mood. I lock the door and make sure I’ve told my husband to keep the kids away. You may not want to meditate but if you are feeling on edge then take the time-out and do whatever you like to do that is quiet, alone time. Whether its surfing the net on your phone, reading the paper, a good book or chilling out listening to music – you need to do it.

Regularly Do Some Form Of Movement

Emotions don’t go anywhere if you don’t exercise. You need to literally shake them off. Get moving – go to the beach for a swim, play tennis, run, do handstands on the grass – make them move through you. In yoga we believe that there are energy systems in the body,72,000 little lines that can get blocked at anytime and if most of them are not loose and free then you get that feeling that you are absolutely going to burst. Yoga is designed to free that energy and let it run through your body. Yoga practices like Yin are specifically designed to remove those emotions that are stuck in your body, in your hips, the backs of your shoulders, your neck, your abdomen. When you have a tight body you are always wound up. So move. You know it makes you feel better.

Believe That You Too Deserve Free Time

Whether that is a class on the weekend, a night out with friends, a trip away with the girls – you actually do deserve it. You actually owe it to your family make that extra effort. Sometimes my husband actually says to me when I am in a bad mood, “Do you need to go to yoga or something?”. Everyone likes to be around someone who is happy, who has good energy, who is not going to go nuts over the slightest little thing. Free time, for just you, will help you get there.

Do A Clear Out

A cluttered house, a messy kitchen, bad vibes, bad moods can all be sorted out. This may actually be the source of all that pent up frustration. If you can’t look around your home space and be happy then you need to change it. Throw things out so you don’t have to clean them up all the time. Reduce your possessions. Change your artwork. Change your furniture around. Do a sage smudge (clears out bad vibes in the house). Stick on some upbeat music to dance around to. Change your state by changing the state of your dwelling. Sometimes on the weekend I literally clean to feel better – I know that I won’t feel relaxed until the clutter is gone, the benches are wiped down and the house is filled with music,  and happy hearts.

I will walk around the house with a sage stick, candles burning, Fleetwood Mac on in the background and a fresh coffee brewed. Then I will go from room to room making sure it’s the way I want it to look. It does absolute wonders for my perception of life and I feel much more loving towards my family – especially if they pitch in and help.

Treat Yourself Better

Without a good night’s sleep I am not someone you want to be around. If I have had too much nutrient deficient food, I can feel it. If I haven’t had enough playtime with my friends then  you will know it. If I haven’t meditated or been to yoga in a while then the baseline of my mood changes from permanently chilled to slightly hysterical.

There is an immense need to look after yourself until they become non-negotiables. You should be able to notice when you are not doing the right things for your body. If you don’t notice then you are in a permanent state of abuse of your body. You need to start treating yourself better simply because you are a beautiful human being and your body is a vehicle in which you will need for the rest of your life. You know what to do – eat more greens, drink more water, exercise daily, get in nature, go to sleep earlier, go out and catch a movie.

You treat your body right and it makes it so much easier to change your attitude and love your life. img_5697

Too Much To Do? Read This

I know you’re busy. I know you probably don’t have time to read this. But indulge me. Indulge yourself.

What if you didn’t have to be busy?

What if the most exhausted person you know, wasn’t you?

What if you slowed down.

Stopped?

What would happen? Would your world fall apart or would the fun, the love, the happiness creep back in?

Why do we try to squeeze it all in when it is pushing out the joy?

For years I have loved yoga without really knowing why.

Why do I feel so good after yoga when other exercise, although endorphin-inducing, doesn’t give me that same buzz?

Yesterday, when looking for a quote in a book that I could relay in my yoga teaching class, I found this,

“After practicing poses for several minutes, it is a good idea to relax and feel the rebound – calmly focus on the sensations of chi (prana).” Paul Grilley

Prana is life-force and it is seen as a universal energy which flows in currents in and around the body.

Regardless of the exercise you choose you to do, it will allow the prana to flow,but yoga specifically focuses on opening the channels in the body for the prana to flow more easily and freely.

My quoted paragraph pointed to feeling the rebound and that is where yoga differs again. In yoga, we are told specifically to stop and focus inwards. How are you feeling now? What are you feeling? Focus on your breath. Just be. This is our chance to feel the rebound. We might be in child’s pose, tadasana (mountain) or savasana to do this.

Usually in the down time in-between exercises, whether it is tennis, cycling, pilates etc you are encouraged to get a drink. you might also find yourself chatting to others or picking up your phone to see messages you have missed.

What you are actually missing out on here is the rebound. The opportunity to focus inward and feel the sensations of that prana flow throughout the body. Without it, that quiet opportunity to stop and reflect, you are skipping the most important part. The part where your mind chatter stops and sensations in the body take over.

That’s when you understand the true meaning of yoga. That calm, that inner-peace that takes over and you take that feeling with you when you leave. That feeling improves relationships, improves tolerance, empathy and compassion and instills a greater joy within.

I think it is a practice however that should go beyond our asana practice, the physical practice.

In life, between juggling to-do lists, children, work commitments, social life, family, we are missing out on feeling the rebound.

Today I got up, flew around the house getting the kids and myself ready to leave the house for school and preparing for my day. I squeeze in meditation, a hot breakfast, coffee, showers and lunches and then it’s in the car. Drop first kid off, then second, then third – now to yoga. Then to the shops. I looked at my watch, oops have to race to doc’s appointment. I had an x-ray on my foot and then I picked up a parcel from the post.

I was starving so I thought I’d pit stop at home for a coffee and something to eat. I was going to head straight out again – to do errands that could be done at anytime, instead I decided to stop and feel the rebound.

Enjoy my coffee. Come down from the whirlwind of my morning and regroup for the afternoon’s activities.

It’s so important to realise that life is about enjoyment. It’s not about getting stuff done or winning because you are the most busy or exhausted.

If you think about it logically being busy and exhausted is actually the opposite to how we want to feel and yet we persist and over-schedule until we squeeze all of the enjoyment out. I know that if i schedule back to back outings on the weekend or go out too many nights in a row – fun things become drudgery.

So slow down and feel the rebound during your day.

Being busy and always moving forward will not fulfill your dreams of a joyful and content life.

Standing still is where you can enjoy all the prana, the life force, you have created in you beautiful life xx

I will leave you with a piece from the Radiance Sutras, Lorin Roche.

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How To Create A Life You Love

Today I am reflecting on my life and how it came to be.

Today is the first day in seven and a half years that I am on my own, during a weekday. My two eldest are back to school and my littlest Elijah has started his little pre-kindy program.

I was a very different person seven and a half years ago. In fact, as I overlook my picket fence to the lake and enjoy the serenity of the trees, I don’t actually think I would recognise my life if I had been transported from then to now.

We all know that Motherhood changes us. That the love for our little people re-shifts priorities, interests, friendships and relationships. It changes our relationship to ourselves as well. Sometimes Motherhood allowing us to bathe in our own magnificence for creating something so perfect and at others it feels like our soul is being torn out of our body and the aliens are invading. Or maybe just some kind of exhausted half-ass alien.

But Motherhood creates a strength. It strips us back to our basics, without the bells and whistles. It forces us to take care of ourselves in ways we never had before and it quite literally pulls our hearts out of our chests and gives it to our beautiful creations, as a gift to take on their journey.

So then what is left? Who are we. Without our role as Mother, Wife, Daughter, Worker, Carer. What do we like to do? What do we want to say?

What do I choose to do with my time? Where will I make the biggest difference?

I went to two yoga classes this morning, with my newly found freedom and now I am sitting at my desk, with my beautiful view to look at, writing my joy and happiness.

I think of my funny, independent, quirky, different, amazing, miraculous children and I feel joy.

I think of my charming, humorous, loyal and adoring husband and I feel joy.

I think of my family, I have been gifted with two amazing ones, who are loyal, kind, generous and supportive and I feel joy.

I think of my friends and all so different but all loyal, fun-loving, do-anything for you kind of people and I feel joy.

I think of who I am and I feel joy.

I think of my life filled with beauty, nature, ocean swims, sunshine and love and I feel grateful.

Maybe you are here with me, today, so intensely grateful for all you have or maybe you are wondering where you took a wrong turn.

If so, I wanted to write down five things that are essential to creating a life you love, so you can have it too.

1. Acknowledging what is truly important

If it is important to you you will priorities it in your life. What you have to make sure is that you are important to you. If you look at how you are spending each day – where are you having fun – where are you feeling joy?

You do have time for the things you want to do if you value yourself enough. You are important. You can get to that gym class (sewing workshop, yoga, painting tutorial etc) if the kids do one less activity this term, or if your husband cooks the dinner one night. You can go out with your girlfriends, get away from the kids and have a date night, go for a lone swim at the beach…. you just need to figure out what is important to you.

There are brave souls out there who have realised that their lifestyle choices such as mortgage, fancy cars, and expensive material possessions were keeping them in a life that was joyless. What happens when they quit it all and follow what is important to them instead of what society has deemed important?

You need to know that your life is your own creation.

2. Simplicity

I say no a lot.

To nights out when I am swamped. To emails from companies I don’t want to email me. To more things. To added activities for the kids. To playdates when I am exhausted. To the status quo. To things I don’t believe in.

A lot of us fill our lives with the meaningless, the inane, the boring, the over-whelming and then wonder why we have this feeling of dissatisfaction, despite our full lives with material wealth.

Having no down time, no space in the clutter, no time to breathe or even think is detrimental to our mental health.

If you are feeling over-whelmed, weighed down, burdened, unhappy or even a little depressed it’s time to make things more simplistic. What can you dump? Clear out. Stop doing? Say no to?

It will make a difference.

3. Making Sure That You’re Manifesting What You Actually Want

I built a life once based on other people’s perceptions of what it should look like. I followed other’s plans and paths because I didn’t know what I wanted. I never got clear enough on who I was, to know what I did want. There were glimpses of my true self, sure, but it can sometimes feel like an out-of-body experience when you are not living a life you love. You wonder how you got here, you blame others, you make excuses and you feel stuck.

You need to make time for yourself to get clear on who you are and what you want. Follow your bliss, your joys and do things you love. Meditate, turn off your phone, get some space, some silence, some quiet time in your life so you can hear yourself. Because your true self whispers and sometimes she’s hard to hear.

4. Gratitude

Being grateful for what I have is one of the best things I have other done.

It’s easy to get off path and think other’s have it better. It’s easy to think that you don’t have enough because you always have desire. It’s easy to think that we are not good enough.

However when you focus on gratitude your perception of life starts to change. I am grateful that I can pay that horrendous bill, rather than feeling resentful. I am grateful that the crappy meal I put on the table means that my family have eaten. I am grateful that my sore muscles means that they have given my body the gift of movement.

Everyday there are so many things to be grateful for and I truly believe you cannot love your life if you are not grateful for what you have, right now.

 

5. Surrendering to a Higher Power

Give your best efforts and surrender the results. No effort on this path goes to waste.

I live for these two sayings. The more I live them the better I feel.

We are creators of our lives, yes but I believe we are co-creators. Life always has a curve-ball to throw at us or a dream that is better than we ever could think of.

Whether you surrender to God, to the Universe, to Life itself – giving up control of how things turn out is one of the most amazing things that you can do to make yourself happy.

That sounds counter-productive right? It’s not.

Trying to control the outcome is sometimes a futile purpose as you cannot control all the elements. Trying to control the outcome will give you expectations and when things don’t happen like you want, you make yourself unhappy.

Do we really want to make ourselves unhappy?

I don’t think anyone really wants to be unhappy, we just don’t know how to remove ourselves from this cycle of Want, Control, Expectation.

The answer is in all the ancient wisdom – cest la vie, what will be will be, let it be.

Give your best efforts and let the rest go.

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F*#K. We Are Parenting Wrong.

We are parenting our children out of fear of failure.

We don’t want to be the parents that f*#k up. The ones who have children who are bullys, addicts, no-hopers, depressive and anxious. 

We want our children to be our most glorious representation of who we are. We want to show the world we have an A+ in parenting skills by producing a smart, extra-curriculared, popular child. An athlete, a math whizz, a literary genius.

We want our children reading from two, we want them wielding a golf stick by three, we want them counting, singing, tap-dancing, scoring goals, playing scales, play-dating, behaving with impeccable manners to show off who we are.

Because we are scared that if we don’t. We fail.

We are media scarred and success-focused.

Two problems with this:

1 – the media scarring is because we let what it says affect our sense of protection over our children which then effects our parenting.

2 – the success that we are focused on is only because we don’t want to fail.

So we parent. We parent hard.

Parenting of our generation believes boosting self esteem comes from constant praise and winning competitions.

We are helicopters. Tigers. Fiercely protective and always there. We are authoritarian, permissive, authoritative.

All in one day sometimes.

We get on the ground with them and push so that they don’t know what it feels like to lose.

We spend thousands of hours making sure they practice everything they are interested in so we don’t miss recognising and developing their talent.

We play-date like speed dates so that they don’t miss out on having friends.

We all just want our kids to be happy right?

Happiness relies on their ability to be able to pick themselves up after they have fallen. 

Life gets messy and we can’t shield them from that. The ones who victor are those who have resilience, who can stand in their own two feet who have connections and independence, the ones that are taught about their emotions, self and are given tools to move through the tougher emotions like disappointment, shame, embarrassment and anger.

Our first instinct is to protect and if we see someone reading better, playing better, or scoring higher than our kids, we went to right that wrong. Because we think the blame is on ourselves. We think that our child might get hurt by recognising that the other child is achieving more.

If they don’t lose sometimes now when the stakes are small, if we always protect them from it, then they are going to fall apart when life hits them with it’s full force. 

We are so terrified of letting something go wrong that we analyse, assess and categorise our children.

We are teaching them to compare but comparison is one of the most fear-inducing and anger-producing analytical skill you can give to anyone. People judge because they are scared. Scared to fail, scared to be less than, scared that they are not enough. So they need to look at others and see their failures to make themselves feel better, and that is where bullying comes in.

And this is what we are doing wrong.

So how do we make it right?

How many of us ask our kids how kind our kid was that day? What did they do to help someone? To make someone smile? What did they learn that could benefit someone else? What were they most interested in?

Let’s stop asking them who they played with, what they learned because we are asking out of fear. Fear that we may uncover a hurt that we can’t make better. Let’s ask them instead what lit them up that day ? Their favourite moment? What they are grateful for.

What would happen if our children stopped being told by us to always focus on themselves? 

Our ego-centric society would start to change. People would start looking out for one an another. Using their talents to help rather than to provide them with status points.

It starts with us.

The other day I learned that my son had been giving one of the kids the “cold shoulder”. One of his mates and a good friend of mine’s little boy. A couple of weeks before that the boy had accidentally hit him with a stick when they were playing in the park. I saw this little boy apologise profusely to my son who was dragging the drama out a little. I thought it was all over but apparently not. My son had been telling him that they were no longer friends. When my son got hurt in the playground, this little boy ran over to see if he was ok and once again he was told by my son they were not friends.

I didn’t know any of this until after and when I learned this I was embarrased, furious and upset. I told my son that he was being unkind,to apologise and to think of how he would feel if that had happened to him. I invited the boy over for a playdate that afternoon expecting drama but all was fine. I remembered being an unforgiving child and I knew this was my fault.

I was reacting to an incident and I hadn’t been proactive in teaching him understanding, empathy, kindness and putting any kind of value on it.

The way we value things are shown in the questions we are asking our children.

Who did you play with? for me translates to “please don’t have been left alone on the playground and be hurt and lonely” and my other questions like, “how many points did you score” “what did you learn” are all gauges to tell if he is doing ok. If there are areas I need to practice with him so that even if he is not the star, he is not the kid that can’t kick the ball or recite that passage in the book.

Fear.

So I’m changing my questions. I believe that knowing yourself, being kind and of service to others is one of the greatest gifts ever given. In kindness and service you find pleasure and satisfaction – what you give out to the world you receive back. In knowing yourself you understand what you, as a unique human being, can give.

Let’s start asking our children:

What are you grateful for?
What really made you happy today?
Who were you kind to? Who could you be more kind to? Do you think anyone you know is sad or having a hard time? If you see someone alone on the playground, do you ask them to play with your group?

What was your favourite moment?

We need to start parenting out of love. Forgetting the media, forgetting the comparisons, forgetting the judgement, looking outside of ourselves and teaching our children the same thing.

The world is bigger than just our potential super-star. The world needs more love, more protection, more kindness and more people to be of service to others. 

And we need to start parenting that way.

 

 

 

 

How To Simplify Your Life

I was at the supermarket this morning and I was speaking to my bread guy, Bruce. Bruce is great. He is probably in his 60’s and does yoga outside, he knows about earthing and even has earthing mats for his bed.

When I went to grab the bread I wanted I had a sudden indecisive moment where I looked at the bread and didn’t recognise it. Was this the bread I usually bought? He tried to steer me in the direction of  another brand and I said, “Oh no, I need this brand, the rest have preservatives.”

He said, “How do you know?”

I said, “Because they have numbers on the ingredients list and this brand doesn’t.”

He said, “I have the book. Do you have the preservatives book?”

I said no I don’t need the book. He was shocked, “But then how do you know?”

Because to simplify my life I don’t need to categorize preservatives or look them up in the book, what I do is just don’t buy items with numbers in the ingredients.

Simple.

If you go to buy a lasagna in the supermarket, all you need to do is compare brands just once to see that some have ingredients that you assume it would have in there, flour, eggs, mince etc and some have that and a whole lot more stuff with a list of numbers in brackets. Just don’t buy that one.

This year has been a bit of a dream run for me. We are in the new house which is totally designed to let the kids run around, we can walk the kids to school, we have a park close by and I keep Mondays free.

Because Monday’s are my reset days. I’m not trying to do activities. I have enjoyed the weekend and now I can prepare for the week. Today I will be washing clothes, cleaning floors and tidying up the house but I kind of love it because I have made space for it in my life.

I can grocery shop a little bit, if I want to, snooze, write, study, meditate, read. Mondays are beautiful. The boys have yoga in the afternoon and when I drop them i can pop into the shops for anything else I need.

Simple.

My boys aren’t doing swimming again until the next summer term because when things are hard, life is hard. So even though I got lessons at the same time and Elijah liked having his own swim. I found that getting three boys out of the pool, dressed and dried at the same time too hard, plus we got home late and then dinner had to be made and kids needed to be bathed as they were freezing. I had started to dread Tuesdays.

Maybe you say, suck it up that’s the way life is.

Or maybe you say, its my life and my choices and if you can make your life beautiful by simplifying then you should do it. 

Do you see empty space and fill up the calendar? I don’t. I need that blank space to embrace the opportunities that life is going to give me this week. Maybe a beautiful spontaneous playdate, time to do my assignment, practice my presentation, give thought and time to any activities we might undertake.

Because when I say yes, I really want to do them. I am committed and present and I show up as my best self.

So to simplify you need to:

Look at where your life is easy : What do you love doing? When does life flow effortlessly for you?

What do you not like doing? What makes life hard? Can you simplify it?

For example if you really don’t like cooking then don’t put pressure on yourself to make really complicated meals. Sometimes an omlette is perfection! With a little cucumber, tomato and cubed cheese on the side its a whole meal. Steak and a salad or steamed veges.

Life is for living.

You make your own choices. You are that powerful.

Use your power wisely.