Be Who You Want Your Children To Be

“What we are teaches the child more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become.” Joseph Chilton Pearce


Do your children whinge much?

What’s your complaint average? Do you whinge at your children? Husband? About them to your friends?

Chances are that’s picked up.

Annoying isn’t it?

I wanted the kids to STOP being soooo obsessed with electronics. I complained about it. I shouted. I took it away from them.

But it occurred to me last week that my husband and I are always on either our phones, laptop or ipads. I read on mine, quite a bit, it’s my way to relax but I am always plugged in. My husband is on his phone and computer for work but its also how he relaxes and gets his information.

Not good if we are trying to change the kid’s behaviour in the house.

So I stopped. I got conscious of reading emails on my phone in front of them. I put it elsewhere. There is nothing that urgent, if it is then I will hear the phone call. I have stopped reading on my ipad before they go to bed and I only pull out my laptop to write during day naps and whilst they are occupied in the playroom.

Has it worked?

You bet.

If they see it they freak out…but they have stopped asking as much. My ears hurt less from all that pleading and crying and wanting.

The time we spend together has been better quality because I am not half-here.

“Be present” has been my mantra this week.


Hear what they are saying.

Pay attention.

If I don’t want them to ask me something a million times then maybe I pay attention the first time, answer them properly, give them a time frame they can understand and then do it when I say I’m going to.

I want them to pay attention to me.


It works both ways.

Has anyone tried this? Do you believe in the fact that who we are matters more than what we say? I’d love your thoughts xx




  1. the boys look happy in the pic, imaginative play is better than electronics but it is so easy to do for a bit of peace and quiet. I think you just do your best , somehow they usually turn out just fine, you did hon! x

  2. Nicola this is my #1 approach when coming up against problems with the kids. I ask hubby, “Is this you or me?” (referring to the trait we’re seeing) “What can we do about this?” (in terms of changing things for us to have flow on effects with the kids). It works remarkably well. Not always easy to take, but yes, I hear you and completely get it! And I need to get my book out there! 🙂

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