I have a special mantra, given to me by a Yogiraj that I repeat to change myself.
To stop habits that are no longer serving. To make me different. To make me more perfect. Better than yesterday.
For a while I was ok with it, good with it even.
But nothing changed. My habits stayed the same.
Maybe they are not so bad, I thought to myself. Maybe, I don’t need to change.
The mantra didn’t give me transformation, it didn’t change me – except it did.
Self-acceptance started to creep in. Merging of my light side with my shadow side.
The process has begun. Light shining into the aspects of myself that I keep in the dark.
What else don’t I accept about myself?
So much.
Not being able to perfectly balance dinners so that everyone has all the nutrients they need. Failing Motherhood.
Not being able to survive on no sleep so saying no to things. Failing Friendship.
Not getting out in nature and letting my kids stay in and watch TV when I am tired. Failing my children.
Those lines on my face that are creeping in. Failing to perfect the aging process.
Non-perfect posture all of the time. Failing to even stand up straight.
Not being able to fill in forms, pay bills or get to appointments in the right moments. Failure of life admin.
Not being perfectly serene all of the time. Failing at yoga.
Maybe you can see that this is not so bad. Maybe you can see that I don’t need to beat myself up about these little things.
Maybe you can see that my focus should be on what I do right and not what I do “wrong”.
Maybe you can see that self-acceptance should be the way I move forward. I don’t need to talk to myself about these things. I don’t need to think about them as much.
I don’t think I am alone in not seeing All That I Am.
I think that we tend to dwell on these things, I think it’s human nature, its culture and its passed down to us through the generations but lets change it.
Shine the sun toward your shadow. Accept yourself for who you are too.
And watch the world light up.
