As I wake up this morning, on the last day of our holiday, the sun streaming through the windows, I feel truly blessed.
My greatest hope is that I pass this feeling, so often and so free, onto my children.
So I get to thank my parents.
My gorgeous, hard-working, generous parents – for who I have become.
I was watching a movie last night, Parental Guidance, a comedy of all things and I had tears streaming down my face for half of it.
Because it made me emotional that people’s expectations of their family, of their children over-ride love and acceptance.
Because behaviour can cancel out love.
We all judge and have our own opinions, thoughts and feelings but sometimes our own path, our own journey can be construed as less love.
I have always been independent, a bookworm and I need time on my own. It’s funny because now I have worked out that when I am the truly happy and confident I actually spend more time on my own.
The fear of missing out would make me say yes to things I didn’t want to do. Going out again when I was exhausted, heading to a place where I had no interest, people pleasing instead of pleasing myself.
A minefield in my teenage years and not a good fear in a relationship.
Because it stems from a fear that by not going, not doing, not being….you will lose. Lose that relationship, friendship, communication, respect and love.
Because you don’t feel worthy.
You can’t stop your child from having this experience or feeling this way but you CAN give them an amazing foundation to grow from and come back to.
By working on yourself, by accepting and loving yourself, by doing the things that make you feel alive…you are setting an example to your kids that what you want matters. That what you want counts.
It’s not selfish, it’s self-love.
You are passing on the skill to your children.
So don’t hesitate.
Be happy now.