1. My clothing is not a tissue. Please refrain from wiping your nose on me.
2. There are two adults living in this house. If we are both in the room, requests can be made to Dad as well.
3. The spare room will hereby be known as Hotel Garcia. A tired adult may check in on occasion, with prior approval from their spouse to be relieved of duties for the evening. No kids allowed.
4. If I complain at all about not having enough help, it is not because I would like to live in Girrawheen.
5. If you have two legs and can walk or crawl the majority of your time should be spent on the floor, not in my arms.
6. Fresh flowers are to be thoughtfully chosen weekly by my husband and given as though I don’t expect them.
7. Our shower is not a urinal (this applies to my dog Oscar too).
8. If you are going to eat food prepared by your personal chef (moi) please express some gratitude.
9. Julian if you ask me for “foood” and I give you vegetables I am fulfilling your request.
10. No one is allowed to get sick again, ever.
Your loving Mother and Wife (you may know me as chef, maid, nanny….genie)